In honor of tonight’s full moon.
“We come from broken homes.”
The simple truth spoken crystal clear as she lay out her her fears in the dark night hour of the year’s first full moon. They come from a part so deep within her that she can mistake it for the source.
But..the light enters you at the wounded place.
So it is, in a way, her source. From here she can draw up a well of love, she can find all of her finest feelings. But from this same place is a cave of demons and howling dogs, a black hole that draws all her strength away and leaves her lifeless, questioning.
But maybe her most violent storms are necessary, because in their wake she is always still there, breathing. Peace will always find her again, she must only climb the mountain.
She is beginning to understand why these metaphors are found throughout the history of human writing-climbing the mountain, waves of emotion, storms of the mind, sands of change. Because inside we really are that tremendous. We are the reflection of the world around us, of the universe beyond us, we are connected.
We can draw upon the energy of the night sky in winter, we can bring the crisp cool air down through our vessels, filling all our space. We can breathe in that lightness of being. Let it bring us on a journey.
In a journey I took last night with a baby on my lap, I came to a field that I know very well.
I stood at the top of the lane and looked down upon a vision that is “home.” A warm house, lit by love, a beacon in the cold, dark night.
An old man came near. He was stooped over and walked with a cane- he was very old. He wore a tattered cloak with a hood. He reached into a stump on the side of the road and pulled out- of all things, a simple ball of mud.
At first I brushed this image aside, thinking that I wasn’t meditating “hard” enough or that it was too simple and meant nothing. But then as I thought and spoke about it, the message became clear.
“Go. Go and build,” he said, without ever speaking a word. “Build your home. Build your foundations. Lose the fear and build your dream.”