Drowning in the Red of It


I am alone in the house for the first time since Ana was born, almost two years ago. I thought I’d sleep. Sleep! Ha! These are my thoughts.


I know

that if for some reason they were not here

I would give anything to have them return.

Yet in the mess of our days,

I admit

I want to go away, desperately.

Perhaps I just need sleep,

for this deprivation is no joke.

but I think it is deeper than that, deep into my bones.

It is like swimming in a color, the color blue, my favorite one.

It is like being trapped inside my favorite color, longing to get out.

We need time away from the things we love,

or else we may drown in the red of it.


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