On Friendships and Being a Parent

I’ve been thinking a lot about my friendships lately. They have inevitably changed since I had children, but more than ever they are a source of great happiness for me. Some of them have been there since the beginning and some of them have only recently entered the picture, but all of them are so important.

I spoke up recently about the guilt I have about my friendships…I want to be there more. I want to be more involved in my friends lives. I often feel like they are giving me more than I am giving them, because the truth is that my primary concerns are always centered on Ana, Amadeo and John (and myself!). I go to my friends for a break from real life, rather than living real life along with them…and maybe that’s the big change that comes as we all become adults. Ten years ago, we ate, slept, and breathed each other’s daily existence – now we are all busy and living our lives, going to each other during the little moments when we can make time.

So for my friends, I may not be as available as I once was (though I’ve never really been so great at the phone, we can all agree on that) but I want you all to know that you are permanently woven into the web of my days. I think of you often.

Friendship Is

…Reading out loud to me while I cried in a Manhattan park (Charlie)

…Never giving up on writing me emails (Bob)

…Being there for life’s big moments (Bess)

…Experiences that tie you close for life (Cassi Jo & Julie)

…Six Flags as the start of something lifelong (Amanda)

…Sharing the daily struggle and the joyful small moments (John)

…A woman named Jolene (Jolene)

…Keeping in touch across decades (Taylor)

…Secretly listening to Alanis Morrisette (Alicia)

…Whiskey and cigarettes at Worden’s Pond (Lacey)

…An incredible conversationalist (Charlotte)

…Laughter since birth (Michael)

…Picking up where we left off (Liz)

…Being unsure of our lives, together (everyone)

xoxo

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Our Routine These Days

Hi Blog Friends!

It’s only 11:30am and one of those days that I feel accomplished already this early in the day. I attribute it to the little routine we’ve got going on, so I thought I’d share what a typical day is looking like right now. I haven’t done a post like this in over a year (!), and as always things with two toddlers change rapidly!

I will say that I am MUCH happier than I was last time I wrote a post like this. I felt like I was drowning in babies. I had some definite PPD going on after each kid, so I was in the throes. If you can relate…I just want to tell you – it gets easier. Someone (a veteran mom) said to me the other day that it gets easier every day. I am hanging onto those words.

The things that have by far contributed to life becoming less stressful (or rather, me becoming more resilient) besides the kids getting a little older are eating well, exercising, sleeping and getting a ton of help. Without the things I do to take care of myself, I wouldn’t be able to face up to this life, with or without kids. Just sayin’…self care is life-changing.

mommy ana deo

So… a typical day with Ana (2 years and 9 months old) and Deo (20 months old) starts at around 7am. Ana is almost always the first up, and she either plays or goes to wake up her brother (which I discourage, but it’s pretty cute) but she never comes into our room…I am pretty sure she thinks that she is not supposed to get out of bed in the morning so she avoids me, sometimes even running back in and jumping into bed when she hears me get up.

It is easiest for me to get them and myself completely ready for the day before we even come downstairs. By 8/8:30 we are downstairs and they usually play while I clean up and get breakfast ready (honestly I can’t relax until the kitchen is clean and things are taken care of…I’d love to come down to that every morning but usually it just isn’t the case). We then all sit and have breakfast together by the big bay window in our great room.

After breakfast is almost always a good time…the kids are energized and fed and will usually play well together (ie: minimal whining & crying). At this time we either go out (some days I have personal training at the YMCA around 9:30, sometimes we head to the playground) or we stay in to get some housework done and a workout in around 10. Workouts are a little tough with both of them running around…but luckily they are used to mommy and daddy “sizing” (exercising) and they even have their own little hand weights to use. Sometimes they just crawl all over us and simply make the workout tougher 😉

Snack is around 10:30/11 and lunch happens around 12/12:30. Amadeo naps from 1-3 and at this time Ana and I relax, do some coloring, watch our favorite youtube videos, go outside and just enjoy “quiet time,” kind of like siesta time in many other parts of the world.

Ana smiles

After Deo gets up we have another snack and then either go out for the afternoon, head to the YMCA, or hang out at home. Dinner and bath (they do not have a bath every night!) and bedtime is from 5-7.

That is pretty much a whole day in the life of me & my kids. After dinner is mom & dad time and weekends have a similar pace but are usually a little more chaotic and less organized.

I will say, and I’ve been meaning to blog about this, that bedtime is my favorite time. Not because it is the end of the day but because of how sweet these two are when we are tucking them into bed. They give the biggest “bear hugs” and kisses and are so sweet and cuddly at this time of day. Ana tells me about her entire day every night before she goes to sleep, and Deo plays the cutest games with me. Every single night I think about how I want to preserve the memory of it forever, but time just goes hurtling on.

Thanks for reading, friends! Follow along with my instagram for updates…I’m burnt out on FB and not quite ready for youtube, so that’s where I’ve been posting lately. Comment and let me know about your routines with toddlers…I love reading about what others are doing because it helps me to remember I am not alone and to fine-tune ours even more! xoxo